As teenagers, each human has had an infatuation with the opposite or same sex due to appearance, the comfort that s/he provides, and the pure need for someone closer than a friend.
"Crushes" are interesting concepts that I have not yet come close to grasping although I have had several crushes in my past. When I was younger, I did not know the definition of true love or even infatuation for that matter. Therefore, I would easily fall into and out of what I thought of as "love." That is one common reason behind elementary, middle school, and high school relationships: the ignorance to the true meaning. Weren't relationships reserved for those that we truly cared for? Not merely as friends, infatuations, family, but much more. Someone that we wished to dedicate the rest of our lives to.
Another reason crushes are very apparent and common are because many children and teenagers today are in need of a peer "counselor" to listen to their problems at home. Many households are unstable for reasons known only to those affiliated with the crisis at home. Offspring from this family household may seek comfort and guidance not from a responsible, wise adult, but a peer that s/he believes will understand him/her as they are the same age. When the hurt minor finally finds the person that she/he can dig out guidance and quality time from, it gradually turns into a crush thus replacing the harmful family with someone else. Also, there is the point where some may feel a mere obligation to love and care for their family. Therefore, finding a crush outside of the family is easier to dedicate time, love, and care to as that can be cut off as one desires as it is not an "obligation."
The cases in the 2 above paragraphs are merely my opinion; the last paragraph a bit strong and one-sided.
Lastly for today, another reason for crushes may be because the person who contains the crush in their heart is merely very cheerful and friendly so they are likable and s/he chooses to find the positives in others.
For someone that I am acquainted with, I have realized that she is not comfortable with crushes. She is comfortable with keeping an infatuation in mind but when the person reciprocates the feelings, it immediately becomes a hassle for her. I have heard that relationships with boys in a girl's life depends on her relationship with her father. It is quite probable that this uncomfortable feeling may originate from her relationship with her father. Maybe her father contained high expectations thus causing the girl to feel anxiety when a boy or anyone for that matter entrusted her with something or with a dream.
The human mind is quite complex, especially when it comes to the matters of love and feelings for another human being.
Although a lot of this is true in my opinion, I believe love also depends on their family's relationships. I have yet to find solid proof of my theory but I believe it depends on how good the bond is between the child and parent. If there is little love between them, it may be what causes the child to go out on their own to find another source of love to replace that empty hole that needs to be filled. Those who have solid and cheerful relationships with their parents, they usually do not go out searching for love as it is already given to them by their parents.
ReplyDeleteExactly :) Each child has a certain amount of something that must be fulfilled whether it is attention, love, someone to listen to them, etc. I also think what you said ties in well with what I said about the peer "counselors" in paragraph 2.
ReplyDeleteThank you for commenting ^^
There are 5 love languages. Words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch such as hugs. For each person there is only one that truly makes them feel loved. For example, one person can receive all 4 acts but yet still not got that feeling of love because the one they really need is the one that is missing. Another example is when someone receives words of affirmation and feels all the love because that is the only one they need. Perhaps that also explains the "certain amount of something that must be fulfilled."
ReplyDeleteYes, exactly. Thank you for that information :) I learned about those 5 before. Within those 5, there are ways that each one of us are comfortable with giving and receiving love as well. Thank you for helping me remember that one extra fact.
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