I Am

The world is crumbling as I stumble through it,

recklessly...

ignoring the ground that is falling apart with each step.

Instead, I clutch the crumbling parts of a world,

but they turn to dust,

becoming what it once was.

I begin to run,

my lungs screaming for oxygen,

but it is undeserving of the relief from each breath.

I run until I cannot feel and fall onto the floor,

forgetting that it is decaying with me;

I slip through the cracks,

tumbling into the core,

faintly hoping that it would spare my life.

Falling down the black pit,

my screams echoing

with no one to hear them.

A teardrop falls from my cheek. 

Wind tangling my hair,

I await the impending doom.

I clutch my chest, holding myself in,

waiting. 

I crumble to become an entity of the earth,

as I was in the genesis. 

Broken, shattered, unwanted.

I lay limp, like a sprout,

waiting for the world to devour me.

I see the green. I see the sprout.

I see the teardrop holding on for dear life.

A sigh escapes my lips, and I push myself up.

Hair covering my eyes,

Like the teardrop,

I hang on to a broken life.

It is inescapable. 

It never relinquishes,

it never relents, 

it never retreats.

But it tests us,

it challenges us,

it strengthens us.

The endless duel between me and this,

this adversity,

is precious.

Difficult, but irreplaceable. 

As I fall into pits and holes,

I get up.

I want to win. 

I want to grow.

I want to hang on.

At the root of that nascent sprout is

the beginning

and the end.

It's where I have started 

and where I will soon finish.

I don't want to soak into the brown, mushy soil,

never to surface.

I want to be a part of the start and the finish.

I want to be nourishment to

my world.

So I grow relentless

and stubborn.

I hang on for dear life,

until I am assured that I will be remembered:

not as a mere teardrop,

but water that nourished love,

that nourished inspiration,

that nourished motivation,

that nourished

life.

The Age of Social Media

Social media has become such a prevalent, almost necessary tool in our lives that many times we fail to recognize the impact that it truly has on our beliefs of our society. Stressing, dramatizing, and hyperbolizing current events instigate false notions of what is actually occurring in our world today because many of us blindly accept what we are presented by the social media and the news. But whose fault is that? In this day and age when drama is the main focus of our attention, the news has adapted to fit our needs and wants. Can we really blame the news for propagating such hyperbolic news in order to reach out to the public? On the other hand, can we blame our society for its abject trust in social media and the news? We have been led to believe that what we are presented with is the truth, but now that the Internet and the news coverage have altered their objectives, is it right to doubt everything? 

What world do we live in that we suppress our young people because of our doubts and our insecurities? Who are we to say that our young people cannot accomplish such large feats solely because they are "inexperienced" and young?     

Make it happen

Why do I wake up every morning to go to school, to interact with others, and then to come home again at the end of the day, only to repeat the process the next day?

This is a question I struggled with in the beginning of my high school career. To me, I have to understand in order to learn, to do, to progress... In order to search for my reason for being, I went to one of my English teachers for guidance and we sat down to find this reason.
After an hour of discussion, I realized I wanted a meaning in my life, and this meaning would come from a discussion group I would soon start. Little did I know that this discussion group, Mind over Matter, would allow me to expand my mindset, opinions, and knowledge and allow me to aspire to create my own TEDx conference.
The world is not only limited to what you see. Don't have a meaning, goal, or purpose? Then go make one. Don't wait for it to happen because this kind of motivation cannot be spoon-fed to you; it can only be created by the inquirer.

Someone once asked me, "What will you do if you cannot find a job in psychology? What if the jobs are either too full or too boring for you at that point?" I thought about the question for a moment because it was an option I had not considered yet, and I replied, "Then I will make it happen for myself; I will create my own job, counseling center, company... anything that will allow me to live my dream because I will not stop when the world stops offering me something because I will then realize it's my turn to offer to the world."

What is YOUR purpose in life?

Where are you going...

I took a deep breath and asked him, "Where are you going? It's the middle of the night. You'll get hurt or something if you leave right now!"

"I don't care. I have to leave this so-called home. It's suffocating me. Creativity? Life? Imagination? That's all nonexistent here. All people care about here is the result, not the process. Me? I want more in life than the product, I want the knowledge, experience, and memories I gain from the process; I didn't know that was so much to ask for."

"Okay, I understand you but y-"

"Do you? Do you really? Aren't you part of them? The people who only look at the surface? I mean, are you actually enjoying your life? Do you do everything because you WANT to or because your parents, friends, and community TOLD you to?" 

"How could you say that? I'm just worried about you. It's really dark and you could get hurt on the way. You know what they told us, traveling at night is dangerous. We could get mugged or ju-"

"Mugged? Mugged from what? Our conformity? I would THANK whoever robbed me of my blandness. Wouldn't you? Everyone around here is the same, we all do the same damn thing. No one knows how to think for themselves. Everyo-"

"Stop it," I managed inbetween sobs. "Do you think I want to stay either? No, but you know what? My little sister is here and I can't let the world do the same thing it did to us to her. I want her to grow up with a mind of her own. 

He looked at me with a sympathetic expression, but before I could say another word, he turned around, facing the pitch black, and walked away. I only looked at his leftover footprints embedded into the soil, disappearing into the dark, never to come back again.

Kutless - What Faith Can Do

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1JBSQMkQEo

It's a really nice, touching song that you should listen to regardless of religion. It may really help those of you who really need it.

Despite the lyrics, the song is aesthetically pleasing and I think you will like it (:

 A new day can bring new beginnings.

Some thoughts

I haven't posted in a while because I was busy with finals last week and Spring Break was this week so I was busy having some relaxation I haven't had in a while. However, along with my break, I've had some time to think and play some computer games.

Thinking is never good for me as my thoughts wander off to areas that are depressing, too happy, or too psychological. One of my train of thoughts took me to the land of gaming. Why do I like to play computer games was one of my questions. At first it wasn't meant to have any kind of deep meaning but as I thought about it I found a deeper meaning in my shallow question. I have an infatuation with games because it helps me escape from my real life filled with stress and constant situations demanding my time and effort. The fake game world allowed me to escape for a while in the time I was spending time with my friends online. I guess this may be the same answer for everyone else. Although we dislike to admit it, games are just another way to escape reality. That is nothing to be ashamed of though since we all need a break from our real lives at one point, right? It can almost be seen as another healthy coping skill.

My Spring Break also led me to thoughts about college and the pressure that several students undergo due to the pressure of being accepted into a prestigious college. My question is: Will getting into a good college a guarantee of being successful in life? Isn't it all based on your willingness? I am not undermining the importance of college but this was just a tidbit of the questions percolating.

Have a nice rest of your Spring Break!

Story of My Love/Life

The blushes, the pushing, the urging,

all only in the beginning.

The giggles, the talks, the gossiping,

all only in the beginning.

The intensity in the beginning,

the feeling that it would never end.

That is all only in the beginning.

For those feelings will soon fade away like they usually tend.

The suspense pushes on as the time flows,

as every chat and word from your crush is embedded in your mind.

You do not think your crush will easily go.

Who would let him go for he's so sweet, smart, and kind.

As love nears the end so does the friendship that used to be there.

It's crushed like the dreams that were once embraced.

Now there are darting eyes and whispers everywhere.

So your true feelings will now have to be encased.

When love is done and the pain has taken its toll,

you start to wish for time to reverse.

But sadly, time is in a permanent mold.

Due to the short-lived fun you had before, all words exchanged are terse.

Be careful with your crushes,

be careful with your feelings.

Be careful with everything that feels quite warm and luscious.

For your genuine words may forever be in a sealing.